Mark Huffman, MTS
Certified Sexuality Educator
Do any of these sound like you?
"I'm not sure my kids are ready to hear about this stuff."
"I'm scared I'll say the wrong thing (and they'll be scarred for life!)."
 "THEY may be fine, but I'M freaking out--I'm just not ready for this!"
You're not alone
When we became parents or caretakers, most of us didn't get a road map for talking about this sexuality stuff. The best of us can get thrown for a loop.

But we know they'll come up:
  -Questions about their bodies (or yours!)… 
  -Comments they overheard on the playground…
  -Various family structures among their friends…
  -Song lyrics, music videos…
  -The website that's just a click away (or--oops!--already front
      and center)…
​  -That Super Bowl commercial you wish you had muted…  

​Sexuality is everywhere, and the best time to cobble together a healthy, clear response to these situations is before they come up.
Now For the Good News:
1. It's not rocket science (for the most part, you already know        
​    what you need to).
2. With a little help and practice (and maybe some very deep
     breaths)...
3. You can get grounded, find your words, and handle these
     conversations with grace and confidence.
So that you can say to your child:​   Ready when you are! to talk about these things...

When your kids are very young...

This is the time to send messages that help kids appreciate and "own" their bodies, and to lay the groundwork for healthy, matter-of-fact discussions. Your actions will speak louder than words: Though the content of what you talk about will vary, this is the time to set a vibe of openness, warmth, and honesty, so they'll know from the start that you're "askable."

When your kids are nearing puberty...

As they begin to experience the myriad changes that come with puberty, more than anything they'll want to know: Am I Normal?  Positive, frank, explicit discussions about what's happening in their bodies, hearts and minds will help them prepare for the changes that are headed their way.

Now is the time to clearly spell out your family's values, and to help them learn the skills to make decisions that will keep them safe and healthy.

When you've
​got teens...

The key here is to maintain strong, nurturing connections, even as your parental role switches from "pilot" to "co-pilot." As they experience first romance, plan for the future, and make their place in the community--your children need (and yes, want!) your guidance.  Keeping the lines of communication open will help keep them secure even as they step out with more independence.